A Guide to surviving grief at Christmas
Christmas can be a joyful time of year filled with celebrations, laughter, and togetherness. However, for many, it can also bring up feelings of sadness, loneliness, and grief. Whether you’re grieving the loss of a loved one, struggling with past trauma, or coping with the absence of family members, the festive season can amplify those emotions.
If you’re facing grief this Christmas, you’re not alone. It’s important to acknowledge your feelings and take steps to take care of yourself during this difficult time. Here’s a guide to help you navigate grief during the holiday season.
- Acknowledge Your Grief
The first step in surviving grief at Christmas is to accept and acknowledge your emotions. Grief is complex, and it may look different from one person to the next. You might feel sadness, anger, frustration, or even numbness. All of these feelings are valid.
Give yourself permission to feel what you feel. It’s okay to miss your loved ones and mourn their absence. Trying to push these emotions aside can make the grief harder to manage. Instead, allow yourself to experience your emotions without guilt or shame.
- Set Realistic Expectations
Christmas can often feel like a time when everything is supposed to be perfect, but it’s okay to lower your expectations during the festive season. If you’re grieving, it may not feel like it’s the “most wonderful time of the year,” and that’s alright.
Don’t pressure yourself to be happy or participate in everything. If hosting large family gatherings or attending festive parties feels overwhelming, it’s okay to skip them. You don’t need to live up to anyone else’s idea of a perfect Christmas. Focus on what feels right for you.
- Create New Traditions or Adjust Existing Ones
While it’s natural to want to hold onto the traditions that bring comfort, this might also be a time to create new ones. You can’t replace your loved one, but you can honour them by incorporating them into new traditions.
- Memorialise your loved one: Light a candle in their memory or share stories about them with people that loved them.
- Start a self-care tradition: Spend time focusing on your well-being—whether that’s taking a peaceful walk, meditating, journaling, or indulging in your favourite activity.
- Volunteer or give back: Helping others can be a meaningful way to cope with grief. Consider volunteering at a local charity, helping those less fortunate, or giving to a cause your loved one cared about.
Remember, creating new traditions doesn’t mean forgetting your loved one—it means keeping their spirit alive in a way that feels right for you.
- Reach Out for Support
Grief can make you feel isolated, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Christmas is a time when we often want to be around others, but the pressure to socialise can feel daunting. Instead of isolating yourself, consider reaching out to people you trust. Whether it’s friends, family, or a support group, talking about your feelings can help.
You may also want to consider seeking professional support. A therapist or grief counsellor can offer tools and strategies to help you process your grief in a healthy way.
Online support groups can also be a great option if you’re feeling too overwhelmed to attend in-person meetings. Many people find comfort in sharing their stories with others who truly understand what they’re going through.
- Take Care of Your Physical Health
Grief can take a toll on your physical health, so it’s important to prioritise self-care during the festive season. Make sure to eat well, get enough sleep, and stay hydrated. Physical activity, even something as simple as a daily walk, can help alleviate feelings of sadness and stress.
If you’re finding it hard to get out of bed or feel emotionally exhausted, don’t be hard on yourself. Grief takes energy, and your body is processing a lot. Be gentle with yourself and listen to your needs.
- Limit Social Media and External Pressures
Christmas can often feel like a race for perfection, with social media highlighting picture-perfect family gatherings and flawless celebrations. If scrolling through these posts makes you feel worse, it’s okay to step back. You don’t need to compare your experience with anyone else’s.
Take a break from social media if it becomes overwhelming. Focus on your own healing journey, and remember that everyone’s path to coping with grief is different.
- Give Yourself Permission to Feel Joy
While it might be difficult to imagine, it’s okay to experience moments of joy during the holidays. You’re not dishonouring your loved one by laughing, smiling, or finding peace in the season. Healing doesn’t mean you forget your grief—it means you learn to balance it with moments of peace and happiness when they come.
Be kind to yourself, and allow joy to enter your heart even in small ways. Whether it’s enjoying a cup of hot cocoa, watching your favourite Christmas movie, or savouring a beautiful winter walk, these moments of lightness can help you navigate grief while still honouring your emotions.
Grief is not something that can be “fixed” by Christmas. It’s a process that takes time, and every individual experiences it differently. This Christmas, take things one day at a time and be kind to yourself. Surround yourself with those who understand, create new traditions that bring comfort, and allow yourself to grieve as you need.
Remember, there’s no right or wrong way to navigate grief, and it’s okay to ask for help. Take care of yourself this season, and know that you’re not alone in your journey.
Resources:
If you’re struggling with grief, here are some helpful resources:
You are not alone.
