Anger
Understand it, manage it and take back control
Anger is a normal human emotion, but when it gets overwhelming or out of control, it can impact your relationships, your health and your life.
You are not alone and there are ways to manage it.
What is anger?
Tips and techniques
Tricks that help
Who can help?
What is anger?
Anger is a natural human emotion that arises in response to perceived threats, frustrations, or injustices. It can range from mild irritation to intense rage and can be triggered by various situations or circumstances. While feeling angry is normal, how one responds to and manages anger can significantly impact their well-being and relationships.
Anger, when expressed inappropriately or chronically, can have detrimental effects on both physical and mental health. Uncontrolled anger can lead to increased stress, high blood pressure, heart problems, weakened immune system, and digestive issues. It can also strain relationships, damage careers, and lead to further problems if it escalates into aggression or violence.
Physical Signs: Increased heart rate, clenched fists, tense muscles, flushed face, rapid breathing, and sweating.
Behavioural Signs: Yelling, screaming, aggression, physical violence, slamming doors, and breaking objects.
Emotional Signs: Feeling irritable, resentful, frustrated, hostile, or vengeful.
Cognitive Signs: Racing thoughts, difficulty concentrating, black-and-white thinking, and impulsivity.
Interpersonal Signs: Verbal or physical confrontations, arguments, withdrawal from social interactions, and strained relationships.
Tips for managing anger
Spot your warning signs
Notice a racing heart, clenched jaw, tense muscles, raised voice or thoughts beginning to race.
Take a time-out
If it’s safe to do so, step away. Give yourself time to calm down before continuing the conversation.
Slow your breathing
Breathe in slowly through your nose and make your out-breath longer than your in-breath. Repeat for a few minutes.
Move your body
Walking, running, exercising or even stretching can help release some of the physical tension that comes with anger.
Talk to someone
Speaking to somebody you trust can help you process what’s happened rather than letting it build up.
Get support if you need it
If anger feels difficult to control, is affecting your relationships or you’re worried you might hurt yourself or somebody else, reaching out for professional support is important.
Quick grounding techniques
5–4–3–2–1 — Name 5 things you can see, 4 you can feel, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell and 1 you can taste.
Plant your feet — Put both feet firmly on the floor. Notice the pressure beneath them and concentrate on the feeling of being physically supported.
Slow the exhale — Breathe in gently, then breathe out slowly for a little longer than you breathed in. Repeat several times without forcing your breathing.
Notice your body — Unclench your jaw, drop your shoulders, relax your hands and deliberately release the areas where you’re holding tension
Describe your surroundings — Pick an object and mentally describe its colour, shape, texture and details. It gives your brain something neutral to focus on.
Where to find help
Anger can sometimes be a sign that there’s more going on underneath the surface. Stress, pressure, grief, relationship problems, feeling unheard, loneliness or simply having too much to deal with can all contribute to anger building up.
Our free peer support groups give you a safe, relaxed and non-judgemental place to talk about what’s going on with people who understand that life can sometimes feel like a lot.
You don’t need a diagnosis. You don’t need a referral. And you don’t need to wait until things reach crisis point. You don’t even have to talk if you’re not ready. You can come along, have a cuppa, listen and take things at your own pace.
Sometimes, simply having somewhere to get things off your chest can be a really important first step.
Whatever is behind the anger, you don’t have to deal with it alone
The Respect Phoneline is a confidential helpline and webchat service for anyone who’s concerned about their use of violence and abuse in relationships, and for those supporting them. The team of Advisors will listen without judgment, give honest advice and help you to take steps towards change.
